The Art of American Magic
by StarSpangledTeaLeaf
Summary: In which Alfred is an idiot, and somehow manages to work his way through a year at Hogwarts (hopefully) without killing anyone. Pottertalia AU. Pairings not decided.


Disclaimer: Hetalia and Harry Potter do not belong to me, sadly

"Mattie, Mattie!"

Alfred's anxiety was obvious in his voice as he raced towards his brother's door, bearing important news from his mother.

Matthew sighed as his door was carelessly flung open, and his half-brother came bouncing in, blond hair messy and glasses askew. He wondered what Alfred was up to this time.

"Mattie! Do you know what Mom just told me? Do you? Do you? She says that she's gonna send us to some dumpy old castle in England to learn magic! Some weird freaky place called Pigwarts! What are we gonna do Mattttttttttttttttiiiiiiieeeeeee?!" Alfred's blue eyes shined with worry, and he looked genuinely distraught about their mother's decision, Matthew decided. It wasn't very often that Alfred thought enough to care about life.

Matthew winced as Alfred flung himself onto his newly-made bed, wrinkling the violet sheets. (Violet is a very manly color, despite what Alfred says.)

"I already know, Al." Matthew's voice was quiet, as usual, and he continued transferring his books into the large trunk next to his table. Inside the trunk, neatly stacked piles of clothing could be seen, next to carefully packed bags of toiletries and random items.

"That's just what I thought! You also think Mom's crazy ri-Wait, what?" Alfred stopped bouncing on Matthew's bed long enough to look at him as though he had just sprouted another head. Blue eyes widened as they took in the immensely large trunk Matthew was packing, and the letter that lay on his table, opened.

"You already know?"

"No, Alfred, I don't know. That's why I'm packing this huge trunk full of school materials for no apparent reason." Sarcasm dripped off of Matthew's every words, and he wondered (not for the first time), if he and Alfred were truly blood-related. In fact, if not for the fact that he and Alfred looked like twins, he could believe that Alfred was actually an alien from another planet sent to annoy him.

Alfred seemed extremely confused. "So you don't know that Mom is sending us off to Pigwarts? Then what are you packing for?" At this point, Matthew slammed his trunk shut, and flopped down next to Alfred on the bed, a hand resting over his eyes.

"Al, I was being sarcastic. Mom told us about sending us to England _ages_ ago. You just weren't listening. Besides, it's _Hogwarts_, not Pigwarts." Exasperation was not enough to describe what Matthew was feeling right now. Their mother had told them about Hogwarts a few months ago, and Matthew could remember being excited to see the famous school of magic. He recalled that Alfred had been eating a hamburger at that time, and had thought that Hogwarts was a disease.

"But….But aren't you angry? Don't you feel anything? Mom's sending us a million miles away to some dumpy old British school! I don't want to go to England! We're American! We should go to Salems' just like Mom did!" Alfred didn't understand how his brother could be so calm. This was _England_ they were talking about. _England. _He turned to his brother with wide eyes, trying to talk some sense into him.

"England, Matt, _England_. That dreary place where it rains all the time and people speak funny and nobody can cook! And we won't be able to see Mom for the whole year! And-." A horrific thought dawned on Alfred. _"There won't be burgers!"_

Matthew rolled his eyes. Trust Alfred to think about food.

"First of all, I'm not American, I'm Canadian. Second of all, we would still be able to see Mom during the holidays. Third of all, Salem Witches' Institution is for girls." Matthew deadpanned. "You should start packing you know. Mom's taking us to England a month before the term starts so we can sight see and buy some of our school stuff. " Seeing Alfred's face, he added "Term starts on September 1st, by the way. We're leaving next week."

"But…but…" Alfred's face suddenly lit up. "I'll make Mom change her mind! We can tell her that…that…that you'll miss her so much you won't be able to study! Yes! Yes that's a brilliant idea! I just knew that Superhero Al would be able to save all of us from being brainwashed by nasty old cobweb British wizards!" He scrambled out of Matthew's bed, tripped on his way out of the door and got to his feet again within five seconds.

"Don't you worry Mattie, I'll save both of us from going to Pigwarts! You just wait and see!" Alfred left Matthew on his bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly and wondering how long it would take for Alfred to come back with news of failure. He glimpsed at his half-filled trunk through slim fingers, and decided that the trunk could wait.

It was high time he took a nap.

As it turned out, Alfred realized that talking some sense into his Mom was not the easiest thing in the world to do. He also realized that his brilliant excuses and puppy dog-eyes did not seem to have an effect on her.

In fact, it only seemed to make Nora Jones more irritated.

"But Mommmmmmmmmmmmm…. I like it here in America! Mattie and I can still learn loads of magic here! We can go to Dad's old school! Pleaseeeeeeeeee…" Alfred was not a Superhero for nothing. And Superheroes never gave up. He tried his best puppy-dog being kicked look again, and stared at his Mom with wide eyes. "Pleaseeeeeee…."

Nora looked at her son with a clearly annoyed expression, and said "Alfred F. Jones, I told you months ago that you and Mattie were accepted by Hogwarts to attend as International Students! You should have told me at that time if you didn't want to go! I'll have you know young men, that if not for the fact that both your father and I were brilliant wizards and witches, you would have never gotten in to Hogwarts! Now go back to your room and pack!" Alfred could have sworn that her eyes were spitting fire. Kind of like that dragon they had seen in Kansas a while back.

And so, Alfred had no choice but to return to his room. But not before telling Matthew his totally unfair defeat of course.

Strangely, Matthew didn't seem the least bit sad. "I told you Mom wouldn't let us stay." His soft blue-violet eyes were filled with mirth, as he watched Alfred ranting about their dragon of a mother and stupid British wizards and stupid schools of magic, stomping through his room and making a general mess of everything. Matthew would have to clean up his room later, again.

"But Mattie, they have Houses in that stupid school! What if we're not in the same House? And British wizards are all so stuck up and snobby! I won't be able to make any friends! And I heard that that Headmistress McDonalds, who stole the name of America's finest restaurant by the way, is stricter than….than a Dark wizard's Pygmy Puff! And what if their Quidditch teams suck? What if they don't have burgers? What if-" Alfred seemed especially creative when it came to thinking up reasons why they shouldn't go to Hogwarts.

"Alfred…" Matthew said softly from his position on the bed, while checking through his Hogwarts letter and packing list. "Maybe going to Hogwarts would be good for you. For both of us. We could learn to be awesome wizards, and defeat the Braginskys one day." Alfred stiffened at this, hands gripping Matthew's chair. He seemed to visibly deflate at the name of the most feared Dark pureblood family after the Dark Lord's downfall. Slowly, he turned around, with a look of determination on his face. Matthew marveled at how fast his mood could change.

"You're right, Mattie. We could both learn tons of magic and use it to defeat all those stupid Dark wizards! I would be a superhero! And you could be my sidekick!" His eyes were shining with excitement. "I'm going to pack now!"

As fast as he had barged in, Alfred left for his own room, and went through the cluttered mess on his table where his Hogwarts letter had been unceremoniously tossed in without even being opened.

He located the letter, and ran his fingers across the rough surface of the yellowish parchment, noting the Hogwarts' school crest- an H with four animals surrounding it. Upon further inspection, he noticed that the four animals appeared to be a lion, a crow, a badger and a snake. He decided that he liked the lion the best. He tore the letter open.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL

_of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

Headmistress: Minerva McGonagall

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorceress, International Confed. of Wizards) _

Dear Mr. Jones,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as an International Student of the American Wizarding Society. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

Hermione Granger

Deputy Headmistress

On the other sheet of parchment:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL

_of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

UNIFORM

First-year students will require:

1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)

2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear

3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)

4. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)

Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.

COURSE BOOKS

All students should have a copy of each of the following:

_The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) _

by Miranda Goshawk

_A History of Magic_ by Bathilda Bagshot

_Magical Theory_ by Adalbert Waffling

_A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_ by Emeric Switch

_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi _

by Phyllida Spore

_Magical Drafts and Potions_ by Arsenius Jigger

_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _

by Newt Scamander

_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection _

by Quentin Trimble

OTHER EQUIPMENT

1 wand *

1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set brass scales

Students may also bring and owl OR a cat OR a toad.

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS

International Students are advised to purchase the above listed items in Diagon Alley. However, all items that are accepted in the students' native country are welcome.

*Wands are strongly advised to be purchased in student's native country, to insure better performance of magic by the student and the wand.

Alfred looked up from the letter, eyes slightly gazed from the prospect of getting a wand. _A wand!_ Something he had wanted since he first saw his Mom perform magic with her wand. He wondered where he could buy one in America. But for the other things on the list… What would Diagon Alley be like? What would England be like? Would it be like what Carlos described it to be? Boring and dreary? Would British wizards be any different from American ones? What House would he be sorted in?

Of all the questions that raced around in his head, one in particular bothered Alfred the most: Would he be able to find a wizard friend? All of the friends he currently had, besides Mattie, were all Muggles. Well, there was Carlos, but he was a Squib, despite coming from a magical family. And he didn't really count as a friend, anyway.

Alfred knew that his family was one of the most notable wizarding families in America, but for some reason, his Mom didn't like him hanging out with other wizard kids. Maybe he would find out why in Hogwarts. There were plenty of other wizards there, after all.

With that happy thought, Alfred climbed onto his bed, smile on his face and fingers clutched around his Hogwarts letter.

Maybe Hogwarts wouldn't be so bad.


End file.
